The Many Complicated Decisions That Go Into Choosing a Toilet

Wow! There are so many things one must consider in choosing a toilet! Fortunately, as a resident of the Bronx, I’ve discovered that a lot of people are content with just going on the sidewalk.

Butt [1] if you want to go against that trend, then you’re going to want to choose a toilet.

How to Choose a Toilet

I found an excellent article on the topic and I just want to highlight some key points.

First of all, choosing a toilet could be the most important choice you ever make in your life.

Before we break down some of the factors to consider when looking for a toilet, it’s important to consider the significance behind such a choice. 

How to Choose a Toilet

More important than your choice of school, choice of vocation, or even choice of spouse.

The wrong toilet could ruin you!

This could spell your demise!

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The Doodybomb Exploding Story

Some of the inspiration for items and events in A Game of Porcelain Thrones comes from the deep, dark recesses of my childhood.

When my brother Dave was a little kid, he was at the doctors office and in the waiting room there was another kid who was playing with dice. This is as best as I can remember of the story:

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Origin Story: The TURD in SaTURDay

Back around 1990 or so, I went out one night with my buddy Adam. We were supposed to meet his friend Alex at some bar in (I think) the Island Park area. Or something like that.

We wound up at this tiny, dirty little bar that had a band getting ready to play.

That band was BROWN PLOPPY.

Knowing Alex, this surely seemed like we had gotten the directions wrong and wound up at the wrong place. So wrong, that it was just right…

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Poop Is Funny

Work toilets are the best!
Proudly wear this to work!

When you work your way down to the lowest form of humor, you reach the scatological…

Wikipedia has a great description of it under the other appropriate heading: “Toilet Humor”.

And of course, A Game of Porcelain Thrones is ALL about toilet humor.

If it’s good enough for Chaucer, it’s good enough for me!

From Wikipedia:

Toilet humour or scatological humour is a type of off-colour humour dealing with defecationurination and flatulence, and to a lesser extent vomiting and other body functions. It sees substantial crossover with sexual humour, such as dick jokes. The term scatology is derived from the word ‘scat’ often interchanged with ‘feces’ particularly when referring to droppings of prey animals while hunting. (i.e.bear-scat) From the Greek skor, skat.

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